Steph McAlinden
About 6 years ago we moved our little family over the border from Derry into Donegal. Our oldest (our only then!) was just one year old and we had spent our lives living in Northern Ireland, comfortable and familiar with it’s culture and customs. I’d spent my early adulthood working in schools ministry in and around the north west so I had a pretty good idea of the lay of the land, I knew the schools I’d send my kids to, the clubs they would make friends in and even the camps they would spend their summers attending. Life was mapped out and it looked pretty good.
But underneath we sensed this gentle invitation from God into the adventure of missional living in Donegal. There were no big signs in the sky or crazy dreams, just the recognition that the eye of our hearts seemed to be hovering over this beautiful place and beyond the magnetic pull of its beaches and ruins, islands and mountains was a call to belong here, to give our lives to this land and to tether ourselves to its people. We really weren’t quite sure how that would look but when the opportunity arose for us to live there, we packed up our stuff and ‘skipped the border’ wide eyed and a little more intimidated than we’d like to admit.
Covid hit 2 weeks after our move which forced us into becoming really well acquainted with this sleepy border village, forging connection with new neighbours over fences and in-between well walked country roads with frothy hedgerows. It didn’t take long for us to fall in love with this place and it’s people. We spent the first few years hosting carols in our garden at Christmas time and savouring long summer days with far too many children squeezed onto our now slightly worse for wear trampoline. If you want to live missionally it turns out your greatest asset is an extremely extroverted child!
Of course the time came to begin to look at schools for our now big grown up boy and I suddenly felt completely out of my depth. In the north I knew the schools like the back of my hand but here in this totally different system everything was foreign. The curriculum, the class names, the ages, it was all different. In our little village we had a Catholic national school and I’m ashamed to admit that I wasn’t even sure how it all worked. Could we send our kids to a Catholic school if they weren’t Catholic? Would they be bullied for being different? Would they feel like outsiders? Would they be taught something I’d feel uncomfortable with and have to fix? I really was so naïve to the whole concept and for the first time, felt uncomfortable with this choice we had made. Underneath though, I felt a certainty that living missionally meant being in the centre of the community and in a place like this, the school is the beating heart.
I’ll never forget going to the open day. I showed up late hoping to just hang back and take in my surroundings but as soon as I got to the school my security blanket (the extroverted first born) was whisked off to a classroom and I was led to a crowded assembly hall were the principal was giving a talk. Of course the only seat left was on the front row so I apologetically approached and sat cringing for the remaining session, inwardly praying ‘God is this a good place for my kids to be shaped and grown?’. As soon as the time was up my plan was to get out of there, grab the boy and retreat to safety but as I gathered my things and stood to leave, something shiny caught my eye at the back of the room. There written in massive gold letters, spanning across the length of the wall were the words ‘COME HOLY SPIRIT’ and in an instant I felt humbled and answered. Yes. Of course this place was a safe place to trust with the care of my children. Here in this place where God is not just taught as an abstract idea but openly experienced with Joy and creativity. Here, where prayer is integral and rhythmic. Here were the lives of the saints are celebrated for the ordinary and miraculous. It’s not a culture I was familiar with but I don’t own God or the Holy Spirit nor could I count the ways in which He is revealing himself to human hearts.
I gladly signed my boy up. And he has been there so far for two very happy years – his sister who is 5 years younger – already desperate to join in!
Not only has this school been a beautiful place for my son to learn and grow but I’ve met and become friends with some incredible parents. We’ve shared school runs and walks home, sneaky breakfasts and holiday hangs. We’ve had deep conversations and shared late night voice notes. We’ve walked with each other through heartbreak and loss and laughed through school discos and endless birthday parties! I can’t imagine anything more authentically missional than just sharing this journey of parenting together, figuring it out as we go.
Then last year we asked the school if they would be interested in having us host a prayer space during Catholic Schools week. I was nervous to make the ask to be honest. It felt like a lot to risk in terms of personal relationship and reputation with the school our kids will attend. I went low, saying we could set up a space that kids could explore themselves or teachers could guide them through. Instead I ended up taking all 220 students through a 40 minute ‘lesson’ in the assembly hall. We followed the theme set out by Catholic schools week; ‘Growing with Christ’ and created a mini forest with Christmas trees. I led kids through the growth of a tree from seed to maturity, taking about how good trees have good roots and prayer helps us grow deep roots that will allow us to stand strong in the storms of life. I can’t tell you how much of a privilege it was to hear kids from 5-12 open up about the things that worry them and to equip them with prayer as a tool to set those things down with Jesus. There was gratitude graffiti and creative acts of kindness, a ‘who’s the tallest’ competition and some nifty science experiments. We ended by planting our own seeds and naming someone we could each pray for as we took our seed home, trusting that something always grows. I’ve since seen some very beautiful pictures of sunflowers erupting into life, planted back in January but tended with care.
Since then we have had the joy of taking the same prayer space into another school here in Donegal and our hope is to add to the number next year. We’ve found that using the language and themes that the kids and teachers are already familiar with is a great on-ramp for us to use, creating a connection with what kids are learning in the classroom with the experience of getting to explore God for themselves.
And any fear I had about setting ourselves apart as odd or slightly fanatical with the parents we are journeying with relationally has melted away. Instead I have found that this experience has created context for our family and a deep trust for some who have needed a safe place to be supported and loved.
Prayer Spaces In Schools has been such an incredible resource for support and encouragement and because they are a reputable organisation in their own right, it’s helped create a sense of equity and trust with the schools we have interacted with. I’m so glad we took the risk and made the ask. I’m so thankful for the doors it has already opened and the many to hopefully come.
We couldn’t have imagined 6 years ago what lay ahead and we don’t know all of what is to come. But starting here, in the heart of communities, with precious families and amazing kids feels like the richest of soils to plant ourselves into as a family and we can’t wait to see what comes next!
